On October 2nd, 2014, I met Frank Iero.
Like, THE Frank Iero.
Pencey Prep &
My Chemical Romance &
LeATHERMOUTH &
Death Spells &
frnkiero andthe cellabration &
Frank Iero and the Patience
Something that you should know about me is that I have a bucket list. It started off as a joke with friends when I was seventeen and it has sort of just been this thing I like to keep up with. It’s mainly for fun, but it really does feel great to cross something off of it.
On it includes things such as having a conversation with ‘Simple Plan’ (complete), attending a football game (complete) and learning to knit and/or crochet (not complete). It has also, since 2007 included shaking hands with or high-fiving someone from ‘My Chemical Romance’ (something I changed to ‘someone who was a part of ‘My Chemical Romance’).
Now keep in mind that I assumed that I would never meet anyone from ‘My Chemical Romance’ after disbanded in 2013 because 1. They hadn’t been here since 2007 anyway and 2. Why would any of them come here on their own to tour? So when it was announced Frank’s newest project was going on tour with ‘The Used’ and ‘Taking Back Sunday’ – a show my sister and I were already planning on attending – I panicked. This might be my one shot at crossing off that lingering goal.
I contemplated for the longest time taking ‘My Chemical Romance’ off of the bucket list entirely and swapping it with ‘Shake hands with or high-five Frank Iero’ instead, but that’s not what it originally said and while I didn’t want to offend him (because I LOVE basically everything Frank does musically/artistically and I was very much there to see ‘frnkiero and the Cellebration’) I also wanted to stay true to that silly challenge, and it wasn’t all focused on Frank to begin with (though it so easily could have been, I’m such a fan of his). It could have been any one of them: Gerard, Ray, Mikey, Bob, Matt… I probably would have even included James.
In the end I kept it as it was, and oh man was I jazzed that Frank Iero could potentially be crossing something off on my silly bucket list.
I’d been following fan interactions and encounters with Frank on Tumblr long enough to know that he was running his own merch and open to signing autographs/taking pictures. What I didn’t expect was to walk through the door of the venue and see Frank directly to my right already in the swing of things like a pro. The Burton Cummings Theatre is an extremely cramped place and not an ideal spot to have merchandise set up, but still he was turning this way and that, alternating between selling t-shirts and taking pictures with people. I don’t think anything about his appearance up close surprised me much. I wasn’t shocked by his height or stunned by his appearance (though he is one good looking guy). I think I was mainly just in awe of the fact that Frank Iero was five feet away from me, when the last time I’d seen him in person he was on a stage with a huge theatrical display and pyro. I read some fans saying his voice sounded different to them in person, but he sounded just like he does in the countless interviews and performances I’ve watched. He did, to me, look tired… Dare I say a bit jaded… But really, why wouldn’t he? He’s on this tour, dealing with fans requesting the same things from him over and over again, and is away from his family. I can only relate in the sense that work in a classroom of kids every day, each sucking the energy out of me until I get home and crash. But I still love what I do, and as tiring as it is I still want to be working with kids as my career. Yes, they tire me out, but there’s so much more good involved with teaching than negative. You just learn to deal with the less glamorous parts; like lack of energy, or being asked to take a picture for the 73rd time that day in Frank’s case.
The line wasn’t very long when my sister and I hopped into it. My sister is a great deal more stubborn than myself. She will fight her way through a crowd or demand someone’s attention, whereas I’m a great deal more shy and tend to blend in with my surroundings unnoticed. I got her to go before me and we discussed what to buy as we watched Frank take orders from other fans ahead of us. My sister settled on a copy of his CD (which I already owned, along with a t-shirt) and I settled on a poster.
I watched Frank take my sister’s order and held back laughter over the way he handles change. I’m surprised I haven’t seen a post about Frank dealing with money, because it’s quite humorous. First, if some addition is involved, he’ll screw up his face in thought before declaring the total amount. Then, if change is required (which it was in my sister’s case) he whips out this wad of bills from his pocket, sifts through it quickly and plucks out a bill sharply. Then he whaps it down on the table, slides it toward said customer and pats it with a pleasant: “There you go”. I told my sister after that I felt like I was watching a magic trick.
My sister was that annoying fan (I say that with love) who asked him to sign her copy of the CD too. Which only makes sense, really. So for another few seconds we watched him fumble with the cellophane. Ed was also there and made a comment about how they really should have a knife. Frank agreed and then signed the CD before my sister backed out of the line behind me.
I watched Frank interact with a couple more fans before I racked up enough courage to actually talk to him. Away from any kind of makeup/costume/stage persona Frank stands roughly 5’5” and likes to wear layers of clothes. He’s kind and considerate and while he didn’t crack any while I was around I bet he has a plethora of dad jokes up his sleeve. He speaks smoothly; coolly. Like he knows exactly what to say before you’ve even had time to process your own words. Which is a bit reassuring when you’re a nervous fan.
I’m a dork. I’m a quirky, shy, nervous dork. I always have been and it’s something I constantly have to work at to improve. I have also never been as nervous as I was meeting someone “famous” as I was when meeting Frank. I must have practised in my head fifty times what I would say to him about the bucket list. In my head it went like this: “Hi, Frank, I’m Cat. It’s great to finally meet you in person. I was hoping I could ask you to cross something off my bucket list today. I hope you’re not offended that it is MyChem related, because I’m a big fan of all your musical projects and can’t wait to hear ‘Joyriding’ live tonight. This goal has been on my bucket list since I was 17 years old.” Now I just assumed in my head he’d be totally fine with it, which he was anyway, but this is how things actually went down (keep in mind there’s a line of people, and I don’t want to take up too much of his time):
Frank: “Hi.”
Me: “Hi. Uh, can I get a poster?”
Frank: “Yup!” *Leans over to start getting poster ready and clearly assumes I will ask him to sign it so reaches for a sharpie. He was signing everyone’s poster.*
Me: “…and-uh- It’s kind of silly. ‘Cause I have a bucket list-“
Frank: *Glances at it as I frantically point and shake holding it (I’m a big hand gestures person)* “Ok.”
Me: “And all I have to do is shake your hand or give you a high-five-”
Frank: “Whoa… Alright, let’s do both!”
Me: *Smaller voice* “I’m sorry it says MyChem…”
Frank: “That’s alright.”
Me: *Panics internally and rushes out the next bit all mumbled like an eight year old child fessing up* “Because I’m a big fan of all your projects…” (No idea if he even heard me or not).
Frank: *Gets almost comically serious about this ritual of the bucket list that’s about to go down and holds his hand out*
Now I’ll cut in here to say, this entire interaction with Frank actually zipped by in about 45 seconds, but at the time everything felt like it lasted at least twice as long. People often ask what Frank’s hands feel like… Well, I have no idea, because what stuck with me most was his grip. If hugs could be transferred through handshakes, that’s exactly what it would feel like. He doesn’t give you (at least he didn’t to me) the wimpy, reluctant hand shake. Nor does he give you the fingers only handshake. I mean he wrapped his whole hand around mine, palms touching and all and gave a firm but gentle squeeze while making eye contact. Like, I’m not exactly a handshake fetish kind of woman, but dang. Best handshake goes to Frank Iero.
He quickly followed it up by holding his left hand up for a high-five, which didn’t end in a disaster, thankfully. I have terrible aim when it comes to high-fiving people. As soon as it was done I jumped right into asking him to sign my paper, and it almost overlapped with something he was telling me. I think he said: “You gotta skip to the present”, and pointed to my paper. I’m not sure how to take that… On one hand he might have meant stop wallowing over MCR and move on, or he could have meant it more lightheartedly, like: “Now you can finally scratch that off your list”. I’m going to hope he didn’t think I was a struggling fan, still unable to cope with the band’s breakup. Because yes I miss MCR, but I’m not crying over it. I’m happy about all their new projects.
Anyway, the rest of the conversation:
Me: “Can you sign it?”
Frank: “Oh, check it off?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Frank: *Runs a line through the goal while making an “eeehhhh” wrong answer noise*
Me: “Thank you!”
Frank: *Big, cheesy grin*
Me: “Can I also get a picture?”
Frank: “Yup!”
So during all of this I still hadn’t actually handed over the twenty dollar bill in my hand and fumbled with the poster, phone and money in my hands. It was sometime around here, while he moved around to the side of the table it dawned on me (in horror, because all my emotions were amplified) that I hadn’t handed over the money yet and acted quickly.
Me: *Holds phone out to him already on camera* “Did you want to take it?” (I’m so awful with selfies, you have no idea).
Frank: “Sure!” (And I think he might actually like being the one to take the picture if you request a selfie. He’s super quick at it).
While he got it situated I quickly slipped the money onto the table behind his back and muttered a joke about how I was stealing from him. I don’t think he heard though…thankfully.
He took the picture, I said thank you and that was that. I know all of this not because I have a great memory but because my sister recorded the entire interaction without me knowing. My sister is awesome. I would have no knowledge that he ever put his hand on my back during the picture, because I’m pretty sure I was in so much shock by that point I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t even think to put my arm around him for the picture, but considering hugs from strangers make him feel uncomfortable (who wouldn’t) I’m sure he wasn’t crying over it after.
The Cellebration was exactly what I was hoping to hear, though the crowd was, as Winnipeg typically is for opening acts, lacking. The band came out in Canadian Maple Leaf shirts and Frank told us a short, funny story. Basically they stopped at a gas station between Edmonton and Winnipeg and someone told them not to go to Winnipeg. And that if they did know that we all wear those shirts here. So then Frank said something like: “That was a lie. So what I know now is that people between Edmonton and Winnipeg are *insert bad word here* liars.”
My sister and I did see Frank after the show as well. He wasn’t at the table between Taking Back Sunday and The Used’s sets because it was so crazy and crowded. Instead the wonderful Evan Nestor was manning the table. I hesitated for a couple minutes before approaching him to sign my poster. I have this constant fear of being rejected. I have no idea where it stems from, but it’s a legitimate fear of mine.
Of course he didn’t say no. He agreed immediately. I assumed that would be the end of the interaction but Evan held myself and another fan in conversation, which surprised me. He’s a super nice guy and easy to talk to! He asked me if I traveled far, which struck me as odd, because obviously I live in Winnipeg. It took me all of fifteen minutes to get to the venue… But I guess some people drove in for it. I asked him a couple questions about driving time and when they arrived. “Hm, about 14 hours,” he explained. “14 boring hours, oh my God.”
Me: “All prairies and sky!”
My sister: “And cows.”
Evan: “Exactly. Terrible!”
That was basically our conversation. I got a picture with him as well before we ventured back to our seats.
Frank was back at the merch table at the end of the show, and surprisingly wasn’t swarmed. Because I had him sign my bucket list he didn’t get around to signing my poster (and I also hadn’t asked). My sister suggested going back over because she wanted another picture.
It was a very brief interaction. I asked him to sign the poster, and because my sister wanted another picture with him I asked first. He’s a very patient and kind human being so of course said yes. I particularly love how he looks in my picture with him. I look ridiculous so probably won’t post it anywhere other than my Facebook, but he looks fantastic! There’s some serious revenge-era-hair going on there. And as much as Frank would hate hearing it, epic eyebrows!
I feel very fortunate to have met Frank, because he inspires me to be me. Frank is a huge advocate for people just being their own weird selves, and that was motivating to hear when I was seventeen. It’s still motivating for me to hear as an adult. Teachers and parents can say the exact same words, but I don’t think many of them understand the impact it can have coming from a musician or band whose music or attitude reflects that which you are going through.
So I really couldn’t say it enough. Thank you, Frank.