There is a reason Winnipeg is known as Winterpeg. Our winters generally start near the end of November and last into April. We’ve even had snow in May. As a child I loved snow, but not so much as an adult. Fun fact: children don’t really feel temperature. Did you know that? -40 and they’re running around with their jackets wide open completely unfazed. Science. No, that’s not true. But the -40 temperature is. It’s often -40 during the January and February months. In fact, we were colder than the surface of Mars this winter. That’s true. So let’s talk about…
How to Survive WINTERpeg:
- Stay inside. No, come on now, it’s -45 out. If you don’t have to be outside, don’t do it. You crawl back into bed and pull the sheets over your head. Don’t be a hero.
- You’ve realized that it isn’t realistic to spend all of winter in your bed. Disappointing, but we’re going to get through this. Get out of bed and conquer the dark winter mornings by doing something that pumps you up. For me it’s listening to music. Maybe throw a vlog on while I get ready. Maybe for you it’s doing yoga or rearranging your sock drawer. I don’t know, just do what you have to in order to be less miserable about the dark arctic outside that awaits you.
- Drink something warm for breakfast. Coffee, tea, hot chocolate… Maybe you’re unconventional and want tomato soup. It’s warm, chug it down or throw it into a thermos for fuel.
- Alright, we’re ready to go out into the white sands of Winnipeg. Snow. I mean snow. This is where a lot of teenagers get it wrong (I was one of them 9 years ago). You are not less cool if you’re wearing layers, kids. Layers are cool. It means you’ll get to keep your fingers and avoid hypothermia. I wore converse shoes in -35 weather once. A lady at the bus stop commented on my shoes and then bragged about her long underwear. That lady knew what was up. Be the lady in the long underwear. Wear all the warm clothes! We are all walking masses of winter garments in the blizzardy cold months. It’s actually beautiful when you break it down. Who’s under all those clothes? I don’t know. Does it really matter? We are all just cold human beings trying to get through the day.
- Some of you will be driving to work (or wherever it is you go during a weekday). If you are a driver you could probably stop reading here. Just remember to turn your butt warmer on in your car because you are worth it. I, on the other hand, am a busser. I am here to survive the harsh winds. Not all bus stops have a heated shelter. Some don’t even have a shelter. One of my stops doesn’t so I take coverage in a nearby shelter and check the time until I know my bus will be coming. I’ve almost got it down to the minute now. Then I sprint to where I need to be. Don’t stand still in bus shelters. Stomp your feet, sway your body, do the Macarena. That inebriated individual in the corner who is ranting and flailing their arms has got it down, take notes.
- If you are a busser like me, you THANK that bus driver when they open the door for you. I don’t care if they’re late, they’re still picking your frozen butt up. If you can’t feel your body sit next to another human being who is wearing a puffball jacket and cozy up for what may be a long or brief ride depending on your destination. And don’t sit near the back doors of the bus. People are constantly getting off the bus, you will be a popsicle. Plug your earbuds in and play your most motivational song. I’m partial to “The Warrior” – Scandal lately.
- When you arrive at your destination and have to get off the bus you might want to cry, don’t feel ashamed. Thank that bus driver who IS a popsicle because they are constantly opening and closing the doors for passengers. And now run. RUN to your place of employment/education/whatever it is you do. Use your bitter tears as fuel to get you through the last part of your journey. Glare into the whipping winds of Portage and Main. Dodge the non-sanded patches of ice and remind yourself that you are incredible. You are a Winterpeg warrior.
- Step into the warmth of whatever building/enclosure you arrive at. Let out of that sigh of relief and pretend you won’t have to do the exact same thing when you need to leave at the end of the day to get back home.
On the plus side, February is almost over, eh?